Drinking Kosher Moonshine in Pariah Town
Bibi: Goddam this moonshine’s good – give me more!
General Z: Think you’ve had enough – should go home now and–
Bibi: Awww put a sock in it and give me s’more – I’m in the middle of having a great fish-fish… fission: I mean vision–
General Z: Mr. Prime Minister, I urge you please stop drinking or you’ll–
Bibi snatches the bottle of moonshine from the General’s hand and takes a long spilling swig.
Bibi: Leave me alone, I’m drinking for Israel! For the Jewish homeland! I’m drinking for Hertzog and Hitler and hell’s bells!
General Z: Why are you doing this to yourself huh?! Look at you! Slurring, drooling, red eyes – can’t believe you let Putin drive you to the bottle.
Bibi: Oh it’s hopeless! He wouldn’t budge an inch! He’s sending Bashar the S-300, he’s sending Iran the S-300 too and this can only mean that Hezbollah will soon enough have the S-300 – and if Hezbollah has them then the lawn weeds in Gaza will too – see how it happens, how it goes – the snake in the grass?
General Z: You’re just upsetting yourself over nothing – it won’t happen – we won’t let it!
Bibi: You go tell that to our people huh! You go tell them that I, me, moi, king Jibi of the Bews –
General Z: You mean Bibi king of the Jews.
Bibi: Yeah that’s me – goddamn it the whole world knows it! So you go tell ’em in Tel Aviv, tell ’em I went to Moscow and I fellated the hairy bear all night long for them! You go tell them the world hates us and won’t save us from the Arab terrorists – tell ’em the antisemites are doing a lotta fucking and making alotta baby antisemites – disgusting little pink and brown things – they everywhere! Go tell the people of Israel that I asked Putin to put a clause in the S-300 contacts specifying that Syria and Iran be forbidden from using these weapons against god’s chosen people! You go tell ’em that when I told Putin that the United States does that for us all the time, he gave me the silent answer. You go tell them that he made me sit in a short chair made in the Ukraine!
General Z: Holy Mozes – what are you saying?!
Bibi: I’m saying we’re fucked – we got no friends on earth we can depend on.
General Z: But Putin, he can’t hurt us – I mean he doesn’t care about Palestine.
Bibi: But he cares a big deal about Syria.
General Z: But our boys in America–
Bibi: Awww they don’t give a shit anymore! Iran! Iran! They did a deal with the motherfucking Mullahs! How friendly is that, huh?! I swear the world is spinning upside down! No, America doesn’t want us anymore. It’s over! Goddamn the internet, it’s goddamn over!
General Z: You’re being melodramatic – even a little paranoid. Remember what Sheldon said–
Bibi: Sheldon Shmeldon! I’m telling you all we can do is pretend to still be friends.
General Z: That’s just not true – I mean we have aipac, we have money, we have the Christian Zionists – I mean Fox News alone–
Bibi: Fox News, Shmux news! No! The honeymoon is over – there I said it! It’s never gonna be the same again. The American people, they’ve fallen out of love with us – you know how it goes, you’ve been married a few decades, right? The thrill is gone, and once it’s gone, it’s gone – poof–
General Z: Stop yourself! You’re not thinking right! All that drinking–
Bibi: Is making me see the future – this kosher moonshine here is like a crystal ball to the brain and my crystal ball tells me we’re losing the people – and at some stage the politicians will have to follow. POOF!! Goddamn it POOF! All we can do is buy time and get as much out of America as we can… You know it, I know it… poof.
The General turns glum. Knowingly. Bitter.
Bibi takes another hard swig, darkly.
Liquid moonshine swilling catches light in the bottle.
Both eye-up the remaining golden double-shot.
Then they lock eyes, intensely.
Brows crease and a rage brews up their breathing.
General Z: You don’t deserve the moonshine you bastard!
Like lightning he steals the bottle from Bibi’s hand and fast drinks to the last drop.
Darkness fills the empty bottle.